"Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does."
— Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad
sycamoretrees asked:
"I've just had a blinding moment of clarity as to why Jonathan Toews and Tyler Seguin are just instinctively not shipped, and it's that they're both such magnificent exhibitionist attention... enthusiasts that any sexual activity would be indefinitely postponed while both of them waited for the other guy to tell them how hot they are. Just a seminude vain hockey player on either side of a bed occasionally glancing down at his own abs and feeling a little hurt that no one has complimented them yet"


god this is brilliant 


is there a sports side of tumblr. like are there people who like cry over pictures of athletes and stuff on here



Kristen Stewart in ‘Just One Of The Guys’ by Jenny Lewis (x)

At roughly 2:35, Kristen Stewart waggles her eyebrows in suggestive delight at the viewer, then beckons to herself as if to say “Me? You? You? Me? Is this happening? Let’s make this happen.” Kristen Stewart contains more drollery in the crook of her little finger than you have in your entire miserable carcass.

You are a piece of shit and I hate you. I would cheerfully slide a knife across your eyelids to spend three-quarters of a minute looking at Kristen Stewart’s neck from a respectful distance.” [x]

Anonymous asked:
"dating advice?"


everybody is an enormous waste of time 





Bob Ross soothes and calms and makes me happy like nothing else I’ve ever known.

Fun fact: Bob Ross was a Marine drill sergeant for several years, but quit because he didn’t like yelling at people.

Actually he was in the Air Force and retired after 20 years as a Master Sergeant. And he reportedly quit because he could make more money painting than he could in the military, although it was true that he didn’t like yelling at people.    


A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.

You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It’s yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.

A charming man attempts to flirt with you. This is terrible.

You are in a garden, and you are astonished.